My mind is pretty much made up to make the trek up north and to do it on a permanent basis. I miss The Boy, miss my friends, and the feeling of "home". But I have issues.
- I cannot go "back" nor do I want to. When we left, we were in a bad place. We were losing our house, my husband didn't have a job, money was oh so tight... We were escaping and trying to find a better life. I have a fear that we will slide back into the blackness that we ran from. I didn't say it was a rational fear, just that it was a fear. Fears rarely are rational; they're normally high on emotion and often negative emotion. Will it be that hard again??
- Minnesota is an expensive place to live. You get what you pay for, for sure. But it still costs a lot of dollars. Minimum rent for what we have where we're at in Tennessee is $500 more per month, at least. Yikes! And I still want a small house with trees and a fenced in yard for the dogs and.... I want it all and it's probably not practical.
- It's so darned cold in winter. I was looking at the weather for the upcoming week and lows were in the low 40's. Minnesota won't see that for a high until maybe March.
- Being cold, you get alligator skin, chapped lips, static electricity and static cling (yes, they're two different things). When you walk, you have to take baby steps and kind of waddle because if you don't, you'll slip. And my bones will hurt when a front comes in.
I write all this out and think I must be crazy to want to go back. I need to think on this some more. I need doors to open before I say it's time to go. Yet...